


You Look Gorgeous, Dean (Third Time's The Damn Charm)

by SupernaturalMystery306



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aphrodite Ships It, Christmas gift, Dean and Cas are minor gods, Destiel - Freeform, Greek god au, Greek gods, M/M, THIS SUCKS BUT OKAY, This is a crack fic, annoying song references, guys if you find some questionable stuff pls don't question it, inspired by a conversation with this lovely girl, just let it fool you into thinking everything's perfect, what else do i tag, you’re awesome and I love you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5525258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalMystery306/pseuds/SupernaturalMystery306
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>As Dean stalks forward, intent clear in his eyes, Eros looks on around himself, oblivious to the fact that everything is going to go to hell in a few seconds. Aphrodite bites her lip. She didn’t mean for it to go this far.</i>
</p><p>The one where Dean and Castiel are gods that hate each other, and Aphrodite ships them.</p><p>--</p><p>A/N: This is going to have either a sequel or some time-stamps. But this is a stand-alone work in itself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Look Gorgeous, Dean (Third Time's The Damn Charm)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Setaeru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setaeru/gifts).



> JAMIE. SET. BRILLIANT KID (WHO’S OLDER THAN ME) WHO GETS MY JOKES. THIS IS FOR YOUUUUUUUUUU.
> 
> YESTERDAY, I JUST THOUGHT, HOW THE HELL LONG AM I GOING TO KEEP IT UNPOSTED? BECAUSE I’VE HAD IT 95% DONE FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS. SO, CHRISTMAS GIFT?? I’M SORRY IT SUCKS.
> 
> I have a big mouth and at one moment I actually thought “why not tell her that I’m doing this” but I was able to keep mum (all the talks xD) and gift this properly as a surprise. Although you probably kinda foresaw this months ago…… 
> 
> Reading through this just makes me want to cry because you’re a brilliant writer who I fangirl about and I’m just a shitty little person but I hope that you’ll laugh at this and think of it like the bowl 'dancing' incident. (Let it not be said I mention it way too much.)
> 
> AND HONEY, FIND THE P!ATD REFERENCE. And, I literally copied something you said to me yesterday.
> 
> Paragraphs are spaced apart more to make the story look lengthy ayy. #classyaf
> 
> Also, typos?? If any, tell meh. I’m too done with this to read through it for the 1996th time. Seriously, this was started on July 28th. -_-
> 
> OH AND EVERYBODY, I’LL HAVE MY 1000TH BIRTHDAY ON THE 1ST OF JAN. I’M DESPERATE FOR WISHES. PLEASE WISH ME THAT DAY.

↔♥↔↔♥↔↔♥↔

Artemis and Athena have a polite relationship. They aren’t the best of friends, but they are close. They don’t like Aphrodite though.

But she doesn’t think too highly of them, either. To her, one of them is a stupid virgin who decided to swear off men just because one broke her heart.

And Athena, she is just someone who’s too absorbed in her books to care about love. They’ve just stopped talking since the Erin incident.

↔♥↔

Castiel and Dean are two immortal beings. They’re minor gods, but still, quite loved and known among the residents of Olympus.

Castiel happens to love helping lady Athena with her strategies sometimes, or merely helping her out with books and stacking of knowledge. If he could be described in one word, it would be sincere. It’s true. He’s one of the most dedicated, and honest people known to Olympus.

Dean? Well, Dean is an enigma. He is a follower of lady Artemis, and the only male who the goddess can tolerate. Although, not much, because he’s a bit of a sleaze in her opinion, with the way he’s always flirting with the girls of Olympus. But still, she can acknowledge the fact that he is very dedicated to the cause of hunting, and a noble male at heart. And it is true, he is noble. He wasn’t born a god. He was turned into one, along with his brother, solely for his virtuousness.

They are both well respected individuals.

Which is why, it is indeed a very puzzling thing that the two men can’t stand the sight of each other.

Whether it is some sort of rivalry, or something else, no one knows. But it’s been that way since Olympus knows when. Castiel’s been getting the attention of higher ups, who love the earnest and just god, while Dean’s always been getting the attention of the females around him. Nymphs, nereids, even the muses, they all flock towards him like moths to a flame.

And they hate each other. It’s mostly just Dean, the hotheaded god who can sometimes rival Ares in his broodiness, who hates the other man. Castiel is more or less an angel, figuratively, who thinks of the world as a bright place where everyone lives with peace and unity. But it’s tiring to see someone who keeps glaring at you every waking moment of your life. And so, even Castiel reciprocates the hostility. 

↔♥↔

Castiel is standing in the library when Dean walks in, flocked by Alethea and Lydia.

It only takes a moment for the other man to spot Castiel, and a condescending expression slips onto his face.

He makes his way over to Castiel, who, not expecting this action, is looking at him with a deer-in-headlights expression.

“Castiel,” Dean says, nodding mockingly, “Nice to see you in your nest.”

Castiel tilts his head, puzzled. Why is Dean asking him about a nest? Is he referring to the library as a nest? But, the library can’t be a nest.

He voices the question.

Dean looks at him, before turning to his companions. Alethea bites her lip, but Lydia has no such hesitation. She bursts out laughing, clutching Dean’s arm, and the blond god smirks, raising an eyebrow at Castiel.

The black haired immortal feels his face grow red, feeling humiliated. What did he ever do to garner such behaviour from Dean? He remembers how things used to be when they were younger.

“It’s a figure of speech, Castiel.” Alethea says, trying to spare him from more embarrassment, “Dean means that you’re always here.”

“But I’m not....”

“Yeah,” Dean snorts, again very mocking in the action, “Of course. When you’re not here, you’re, what? Gossiping with Hephaestus? Practicing with Apollo or Ares? Gardening with Demeter?”

“...No? I help lady Athena out, Dean, not the other gods.”

“Thank gods,” Dean mumbles as the women at his side quieten down, “If Heph socialized with you I’d have to disown him as a friend.”

This sends Lydia into another fit of laughter. Stupid crow. Dean smirks again, before turning back and walking out of the building.

Alethea waves at Castiel, before taking her leave too.

Did Dean really just come here to harass Castiel?

He sighs, before turning to the shelves and resuming his search for the book on angels.

↔♥↔

Castiel would have ignored the incident from the morning, if Dean hadn’t thought he could carry it forward. As it is, Dean assumed he could.

As a soaked Dean spits out water from his mouth, glaring at Castiel, the black haired man looks on impassively, not giving away the elation he is feeling.

Dean thought he could get away with trying to publicly humiliate him in front of half the Council? Well, bring it on, Dean Winchester. Castiel was done playing nice.

 

↔♥↔

It’s only when Aphrodite is sunning herself on a mortal beach with Ares that the idea strikes her. The war god is once again talking about how fun it is to see Castiel and Dean blow up at each other.

As the wheels turn in her head, a smile creeps onto her face.

Ares keeps talking, oblivious to the fact that she’s not listening at all.

↔♥↔

“Castiel!”

Castiel hears a voice call out his name enthusiastically. He turns around, confused for a second, before the image of the man in front of him registers in his brain. Recognition strikes him.

“Sam?”

It is indeed Sam, the younger brother of Dean, who’s in front of him, waving happily in his face.

“Yes, that’s me! How have you been, man? Is Dean still giving you shit?”

Castiel looks at the man in question, who looks like he’s going to drive a stake through someone’s heart. Dean’s so angry that he could blow up the whole of Olympus.

...Okay, maybe not. But he looks absolutely murderous.

And although Castiel is generally a well wisher even for his enemies, he doesn’t want to let this opportunity go to waste. This ought to be very, very fun. Castiel opens his mouth-

“You look gorgeous, Dean.”

After freezing and blushing instantly, Dean looks at him like he’s out of his mind, and Castiel thinks that he is.

Because _why_ would something like this happen?

Sam looks between both of them as if they’ve each grown another head.

“I meant murderous,” he corrects hastily, but it’s of no use. The damage has been done, and no amount of amendments will amend the situation. Oh, the irony.

Sam, who had been biting his cheek earlier to stop himself from laughing, can’t hold it in any longer.

Dean and Castiel look at each other, both flushed, as Sam dances - it can’t be called anything other than dancing- away, chortling every few seconds.

 _Why_ did he have to say the wrong word?

↔♥↔

Dean sits down next to his brother.

It’s been so long since it was just the two of them. A fond smile pulls up on his face. Reaching over, he ruffles Sam’s hair, receiving a bitch face.

 _Some things never change_ , he thinks.

“So, Sammy, anything new? Things good with Jess?” He asks while wiggling his eyebrows, like the ‘loving brother’ that he is.

Sam smiles dopily at the mention of Jessica. She is a demigod daughter of Dike, and dear-little-or-maybe-not-little-I-wanna-be-a-lawyer-Sammy fell in love at first sight, the first time they went down to Earth. Dean still doesn’t let Sam live it down.

“Yeah, Dean, they’re awesome.” He says brightly, before continuing, somewhat hesitant, “Would you be opposed to the notion of her and I…”

“Spit it out Sammy, haven’t got all day here. Unlike you, I actually got stuff to do. Chicks and dicks to score, yanno?”

Sam rolls his eyes (Dean can’t tell if it’s in exasperation or disgust) before dropping the bomb.

“We’re getting married, Dean.”

(And maybe later Dean wonders how his baby brother ended up in a committed relationship before he did. And how Jess was able to put up with him. And maybe he even thinks of a certain god who was his brother’s friend and his own, once upon a time, and wonders if he ought to inform him about Sam’s engagement.)

↔♥↔

Castiel finds the library to be his safe haven. He’s still embarrassed about the incident that happening in the morning.

Because, well, how could he mix up murderous with _gorgeous_?!

_It’s your subconscious, love._

Castiel starts, jerking in his chair.

He looks around, bewilderment colouring his face. There’s no one around him, so why did he just hear someone speak to him?

_In your head. And before you ask, no, I’m not going to disclose my identity._

The voice is so familiar, but he can’t pinpoint _whom_ it belongs to. But it’s definitely someone he knows.

He’s mulling over his predicament when Lady Athena appears in front of him.

“Castiel, just the person I was looking for,” she says as the god bows slightly, “Would you please help me draw up some new strategies? One can never have enough of those.” 

As he nods and situates himself on his chair once again, the voice rings out in his ears:

_Bloody Owlwoman trying to steal you away with her bloody clichéd flirting schemes._

Castiel glances up wide eyed at Athena, but she shows no indication of having heard the insult. She does seem a bit irritated though, at Castiel’s lack of attention, to which the man just ducks his head in apology. 

↔♥↔

It’s been almost half an hour since Castiel heard the voice, and as the goddess in front of him gets up, ready to go, she turns back to Castiel one more time.

“I heard that Samuel was back. Do convey my greetings, won’t you? Also, congratulate him on his betrothal.”

Well shit, Castiel can’t afford to be impolite, which means the Winchesters need to be paid a visit.

Also, betrothal?

_Whatwhenwherehowwhy?_

Castiel tells the Stalker Lady to stop getting excited.

↔♥↔

Far away from the library, a beautiful woman sits in her gazebo.

“Son,” the goddess acknowledges the man as he appears in front of her, “This hate fueled love has gone on for too long. I need your help.”

“Nice to see you too, mother. But, mind telling me what you’re talking about?”

She smirks, “We’re going to play matchmaker, Eros. Destiel is ready to sail.”

↔♥↔

And that is how Castiel finds himself covered in chicken feathers, caught in a trap in the middle of a forest at his wit’s end, while an equally frustrated Dean tries to cut off the rope holding them hostage.

Castiel would have offered to help, but honestly, he’s a bit frightened. With the way Dean is hacking away at the trap with a glare, it makes him look like he wants to hack off Castiel’s head along with it.

_You’re overreacting, dear. Why would Dean do that to you?_

Castiel almost groans when he hears the intruding voice in his head. And then gets an idea. And asks the lady to help them, to which she promptly replies that it’s all part of a “plan,” and that Dean and Castiel need to make it out on their own. Although, her exact words had been “make out” and had sent her in a fit of giggles, which made Castiel want to rip his hair out. Because not only was her sentence grammatically incorrect, but her laughter was irritating him too.

↔♥↔

It’s been approximately three hours since they got caught (quite literally) in the mess. And about fifteen minutes since they were able to get out of the trap and defeat a sparkly bear which came out of nowhere.

Dean sits near Castiel, panting lightly. Castiel chews on his lip, contemplating, before going through with it.

“Uh, Dean?”

The man in question looks at him, eyebrow raised. Castiel clears his throat, suddenly seized by a wave of uncertainty. But Dean looks expectant now, so he asks the question.

“Why did you save me? You could have left me here.”

Dean squints, looks around for a few moments, clearly trying to evade the question. When Castiel is almost certain that he won’t receive an answer, Dean surprises him by opening his mouth, “Castiel, I might never be your ‘knight in shining armour,’ but I’m a decent being.”

Castiel almost snorts, and almost replies, ‘Yeah buddy, you’ve been hella decent all those times we interacted,’ but that’s just not his style. And he won’t ever go out of his style. In fact, it sounds quite a lot like Dean himself, so he’s not going to reply with that.

But before Castiel can say anything, Dean speaks again, gruffly this time, “No one gets to know this okay? And, just stop this chick flick moment now.”

Castiel nods. He wasn’t really expecting anything else.

↔♥↔

After two more such incidents, because third time’s the damn charm, they find out the culprit. It’s freaking _Aphrodite_. And Eros. Stupid Cupid.

↔♥↔

They find both mother and son conversing quietly near the balconies of the main palace on Christmas eve. Castiel sees them right away, and Dean, after leaving Sam with a minor god, comes to join him in his interrogation. The party is already in full swing, despite it being just about twenty minutes since it started. Everyone is laughing, talking loudly, and generally having fun, and Dean suspects that Dionysus might have had a bit of a free reign, so to speak.

It’s pretty easy to corner them. Aphrodite doesn’t realize why Dean and Castiel suddenly appear in front of her, and pretty soon, she stands in an isolated garden with her son.

“So, lady,” Dean speaks, as tactful as ever, “Any fucking reason why you thought it would be fun to play around with Cas’ life and mine? I mean, what, there’s no pastime for you love gods these days?”

“Well,” Eros says at last, “I’m not the one who started this. Mother was the one who thought there should be some, what, Destiel? Yes, some Destiel in the air. And I just, well, could I really pass up this opportunity? And wouldn’t you want love, Dean?”

A few seconds pass before Dean grits out, “With what?! Castiel? Well, here’s this, _buddy_ , Cas... tiel and I may have talked once upon a time, but that was because of _Sammy_. He was the one who worshiped Castiel, not me. So you got another fucking thought coming if you think I’m suddenly gonna be besties with Castiel and sing Disney songs with him.”

“Oh but Dean,” Aphrodite interrupts, voice lilting, “Sam is everything to you. You love your brother. And Castiel is someone your brother really respects. I get it, I really do, that maybe you felt neglected after Sam started talking to Castiel, but Castiel here, he’s really sweet. And don’t you really want to be friends with Sam’s friend? Think about it. You both are charming, lovely, wonderful men. Why can’t you be charming, lovely, and wonderful _together_? And, well, if you end up being more than friends, it’s no one’s loss right? Also, aw, you called him _Cas_.”

She smiles hopefully, as if it will stop the impending disaster, but her speech has already fueled the fire.

Dean can’t hit a lady. It goes against everything his mother ever taught him, even if it was a long time ago, when he was a mortal. But, well, Eros certainly isn’t a woman.

As Dean stalks forward, intent clear in his eyes, Eros looks on around himself, oblivious to the fact that everything is going to go to hell in a few seconds. Aphrodite bites her lip. She didn’t mean for it to go _this_ far. Castiel tilts his head to the side, confused.

The moment Eros realizes what is happening is the moment which is too late.

Snatching the other god’s arrows and bow out of his hands, Dean takes aim.

Eros gulps. Oh gods. This is not happening. He closes his eyes, hoping it delays the inevitable, or that it makes him less susceptible to the magic of the weapons. Once was enough. He doesn’t need another Psyche.

And Dean shoots.

A few moments pass by before Eros opens his eyes.

Aphrodite is gaping. Castiel is wide eyed, looking at Dean nervously, terrified even, who is-

Dean, who is looking at Castiel with the most lovesick expression on his face, while clutching his bleeding hand, out of which a piece of an arrowhead sticks out.

What?

The hell?

_Fuck._

Also, really?

Third time really is the charm, it seems. 

 ~*~

**~♥~ The End ~♥~**

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WAS CHOPPY AS HELL AND I’M SORRY FOR THAT.
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Unclaimed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7619782) by [CaptainBrieOnToast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainBrieOnToast/pseuds/CaptainBrieOnToast)




End file.
